Iconic Convos: Pike Place Market

Iconic Convos brings a lighthearted twist to celebrity interviews by conceiving imaginary chats with Seattle's most famous non-human icons.

Nicole Bearden (NB): Before we begin, I would like to thank you, Pike Place, for finding time to speak with me today. I know how busy you are—you never get a day off!

Pike Place Market (PPM): Haha, that's right! But I am happy to have the chance to speak on my own behalf for once, and perhaps set the record straight on a few things.

NB: Ooh, spicy right out of the gate—I like it!

PPM: Darn straight.

NB: You've been around a long time—

PPM: Over a hundred years!

NB: Exactly. So I'm sure you've SEEN some things. What is your favorite era of Seattle so far, and why?

PPM: Well now, that's an interesting question. I suppose the 1970s were some of the best times. People enjoyed life! Seattle was a city, I was still a hopping place to be, but people weren't frantic like today.

There were also more interesting people to see then. Street performers and artists. Now it's a bunch of boring nerds in Arc'teryx, coming dangerously close to hitting pedestrians as they drive through my streets in those hideous Tesla boxes.

Nowadays the lines of cars stretch in front of me, with their exhaust, or those electric ones I just mentioned hitting people. Oh, and that Hellcat fella and his loud friends keep me up all night racing. It's a headache. But at least the tourists keep on comin'.

NB: That does sound different, for sure. On a different note, you mentioned "setting the record straight". What did you mean by that?

PPM: *turns to face a non-existent camera* It's PIKE Place. P-I-K-E! There's no "S". There's no apostrophe! My name is PIKE (SINGULAR, NON-POSSESSIVE) Place Market.

[turns back to me] Phew! [laughs and wipes brow] That felt great! [Smiles]

NB: Indeed. Having people get your name wrong can be so frustrating.

PPM: Tell me about it. Might as well say "Walmart's" or "Warshington". Blech.

NB: So, as an Anthropomorphic Entity, inquiring minds want to know: What do you do all day?

Produce stall at Pike Place Market / Wikimedia Commons

PPM: Well, every day is different. Sometimes I hang out with the market ghosts—Angeline, Jake, Suspenders, and Frankie. There are a few more, but that's the regular gang. We play pranks on people, like tapping their shoulders or whistling right in their ears. Nothing that would hurt anyone, but it's entertaining.

Other days, I toss a few french fries to the seagulls, or moon the diners at Maximilien; they can't see me exactly, but they can sense me. [chuckles] Occasionally I gab with Gum Wall. They get up close and personal with people and know all the gossip.

NB: Gum Wall knows things?

PPM: Yeah, they know A LOT about people. The way they explained it is that somehow, when someone chews a piece of gum and then sticks it up there, Gum Wall (via osmosis or some kind of magical force) suddenly gets a flood of the person's memories. EV-ER-Y-THING. Gum Wall knows all. But they only tell me.

NB: That sounds almost unbelievable, and yet, I'm chatting with a market, so...good to know. I'll stay out of their way. Just to wrap up, what do you think people should know about visiting you?

PPM: Walk at a normal pace! Don't be a slowpoke lookyloo, but also take your time looking at the shops. I have a lot of hidden gems. [winks]

NB: And there you have it. A very clear and not at all confusing message from Pike Place Market themselves. Thanks again for your time today, Pike Place.

PPM: Happy to oblige. Come visit anytime! I'll introduce you to the ghost gang.