Max’s Musings: Rupi Kaur

What makes up a poet?

Poet Rupi Kaur soared to prominence from her poetry collection Milk and Honey. Originally self-published in 2014, Kaur released her 10th Anniversary Collector’s Edition of the same name, which features original notes and annotations alongside brand-new poems and illustrations. While on her extensive book tour, she made a stop at Elliot Bay Book Company in Seattle, Washington.

Her poetry collection, Milk and Honey, “became an international phenomenon, selling over 6 million copies and sitting on the New York Times bestseller list for nearly four years” and “became one of the highest-selling books of poetry in the 21st century” (book’s Introduction). It encounters themes of abuse, generational trauma, love, and healing.

After reading the new release alongside the original, my infatuation with poetry rapidly grew. The poem I chose this week is “the type of lover i need” which accentuates the hardships and love life of a creative person:

i need someone

who knows struggle

as well as i do

someone

willing to hold my feet in their lap

on days it is too difficult to stand

the type of person who gives

exactly what i need

before i even know i need it

the type of lover who hears me

even when i do not speak

is the type of understanding

i demand.

-the type of lover i need

Everyone experiences trauma. This is a human experience we all share. We all have different ways to deal with said trauma. So how do writers and artists process their trauma?

Poets and artists are not only bold enough to share their trauma through their art, but creative enough to spin their trauma into beauty through bravery. Trauma allows those to understand loved ones as well as the inner mechanisms of themselves through reparation.

Note from Rupi Kaur / Rupi Kaur

Writing has always been cathartic and therapeutic for me. It was a safe place for me to retreat to when every other place terrified me. With any art form, there is a call for expression and a struggle to find one’s distinct and authentic voice. Through the art of creating, a poet or artist finds healing, self-love, and understanding of self. But is that simply enough? 

As someone who has gone to therapy on and off, I found myself in a love and hate relationship with it. I never got the big breakthroughs I was expecting or felt like I needed at the time. It wasn’t until the last couple of months that I decided to give therapy another try. I have reveled in learning more about myself, facets I would have never uncovered alone. 

I find the balance and connection between therapy and poetry beneficial. There are times that a pen and paper are the way to process a feeling. There are times I include and invite my therapist into my struggles whether they are long term or day to day.

What this poem teaches people is that there is nothing wrong with knowing what you want to do with your life. Diving further, it is crucial not to settle for less to meet the social expectations or stigmas people attempt to thrust upon you. As creatives, we thrive on breaking the rules of society and thrive on watching the unraveling of the aftermath. The speaker is adamant about what awaits them and invites us to do the same.

After getting engaged, I find this poem resonating with me and ringing true within my relationship. It is key for an individual to understand themselves. In addition, they want other people to understand them, love them, and feel acceptance. As a writer and a poet, I always longed for someone who not only loves me but loves what I create. My fiancé learns more about me and my poetic makeup through my love of poetry.

Rupi Kaur’s poetry continues to inspire writers of every age and walk of life. I recommend her to all individuals who are new to poetry or for those who want to revisit the miraculous medium.   

Dare to fall in love again?